Hey Divas Happy Friday.
I hope you all had an amazing week and getting ready to enjoy this beautiful weekend. I know you are reading the title like what is she talking about. If you are in the love with fashion then you heard about the devastating news about designer Kate Spade. Words cannot express how sad I am to hear we lost another life to suicide. She was not only a mom, wife, sister, she was a part of our lives as well.
When I read the article I was riding the school bus next to my coworker and she said something that stuck with me the whole day. “you never know what is going on inside someone head when they are in a dark place”. It hit so hard because I have smiled so much that I forgot about the many dark moments in my own head. We try so hard to cover up pain and sadness by trying to portray a life or picture to make the outside world think something different. We all have pain, struggles, and dark demons that we are trying to conquer every day.
One of the things that I have struggled with for years is anxiety and anger control. I am a complete control freak and I try to plan out every moment and detail of every second. If something is not in place or not go my way I explode. But over time I have had to learn that you have to focus on your locus of control in your space.
When I moved overseas there was nothing that I could plan for that would go my way. I could leave one hour before an appointment tell and show the driver where I was going and end up nowhere near where I wanted to be. I could have screamed and yelled, but I don’t speak enough Chinese to get my point across that he should have followed directions. So why even get mad when it is not even worth it.
One of the things that has helped me get in a better space of being single at this point in my life is patience and God. He has the plan and I have to be patient. I can plan things that are in my control at the moment such as my business and developing my skills in education. That I can control. But I can’t pull a child out of the sky and a husband that is not meant for me. I have to stay still and be in control of my thoughts, actions, and what I allow in my space.
We all have dark places in our minds. Places that we allow ourselves to be in because we have not trained our minds and thoughts to redirect the negative inputs from society. We allow toxic people to continue to take our spirts and we don’t put enough positive knowledge back into our minds to help control the negative. One of the things I do EVERY morning is I find a sermon or a series to watch that helps me deal with a particular issue I need help with.
Sarah Jakes Roberts sermon entitled “Beautiful Chaos” is one of my favorite and I have listened to it about 5 times. I don’t want to spoil it and tell you why it is important because I want you to find out for yourself.
Another one of my favorite people to listen to is Michael Todd Lead Pastor of Transformation Church. He did a series called “Single But Not Alone” which is by far the best sermon I have heard about why being single is not a curse or burden but a blessing that most don’t have the pleasure of doing. I had to watch it twice to really understand why this is a blessing, but then I remembered that you have to know you before you can allow your partner to enter into your life and space.
I hope this helped someone somewhere. We are not meant to be alone in our dark spaces. You need family, friends, and above all God to help you see the light. Depression is one of the hardest things to overcome but we have to remember to reach out for help.
Until next time Diva……….
Dress: Designed by me
Shoes: Charles & Keith
Earrings : Conscious Statement